So, sometimes crazy stuff happens at church

Ok, funny stuff happened yesterday at Amy's parents ward in Prescott. Remember, it was Fast and Testimony Meeting.

1. So, with all the family staying at Dave and Georgia's house over the 4th, we took up 2 big rows in church. Drex was sitting next to Jenny and JR, and right in front of Amy and I. As the Sacrament hymn was beginning, Amy whispered to Drex asking if he wanted a hymn book. He got a way-excited look on his face, and enthusiasticly said "Yes!" So, Jenny leaned over and gave him a hymn book. Then he got this confused look on his face, not sure what had just happened. He turned around and Amy asked him what was wrong. He asked, "What's this for?" Amy answered, "You said you wanted a hymn book." The clarity on his face was classic as he realized the miscommuniation. "Oh, hymn book. I thought you asked if I wanted a hamburger!"

Yes, Drex, on this Fast Sunday morning, we grilled up some burgers and have them here in the purse for you. But hurry and eat up, because the Sacrament hymn is almost over. Oh, and do you want fries with that? Just wondering. And take this large Coke with you as well. Share some with Braden. Crazy.

2. During testimonies, a little kid got up. We found out later that he gets up every Fast Sunday and bears a thematic testimony on different topics. Yesterday's was on rain. He started, "some people like rain, some poeple don't. I like rain. Raise your hand if you like rain." (Everyone in the congregation raised their hand). "Ok, now raise your hand if you don't like rain." (no one raised their hand). "Ya, that's about what I thought it would be." He then went on to tell us why he likes rain, but that the last few days the rain has been "annoying" him since it would start to rain and then stop. Start and stop. Start and stop.

It was cute, but I don't think he heard the counsel from the First Presidency a few weeks back. No audience participation during Sacrament Meeting. The next thing we know, he will be using props for his testimony and asking the congregation to turn to the scriptures with him. Not cool. Someone needs to sit down with him and ask him if he really is going to follow the prophet. In fact, raise your hand if you're going to listen to the prophet from here on out, kid!

3. The weirdest part happened to finish testimonies. Drex, apparently hungry from no burgers earlier in the meeting, asked me how much longer til the meeting was over. I checked the time and told him 6 more minutes. At about the same time, a testimony ended and 4 more people stood up and walked to the stand. Admittedly, I groaned a bit inside, knowing that we were gonna go over, a pet peeve of mine.

The last 2 testimonies were this young married couple. She got up first and introduced herself and her husband who were visiting, but had come for the baby blessing that day. (Great, I thought, visitors making the time go over. Double pet peeve.) And then she literally spent 2 minutes (of overtime, mind you) telling us about the debate she and her husband had about "if I go up then you have go up, but if you don't want to go up, you have to go up anyway because I want to go up.....blah blah blah." And then for 5 more minutes she continued to go on about how fun the family reunion this week has been, how her husband is the best returned missionary ever, and that hopefully she has done a pretty good job being the big sister to 3 brothers, but that she still has time to do better if she wasn't. Thankfully, she finally sat down

We were WAY over time when the best returned missionary ever stood up. He expressed his love to his crazy wife, and then acknowledged the time was short by saying (and I'm not kidding)....."Since our time is up, I want to bear my testimony today by singing you a hymn. Now, I haven't been singing for very long, but I want to do this. And this isn't a normal hymn for right now, but it has a great message about Christ. But due to the time, I will only sing the first and last verses of (wait for it...) 'Silent Night'." At this point I almost dry-heaved and burst out laughing at the same time. Amy and I made eye contact. There was the most uncomfortable feeling in the chapel, like everyone was thinking "no way this is happening". But it was. And sure enough he sang the the first and the last verses of a Christmas hymn. In July. For his testimony.


To top the meeting off, we all stood (which I don't think we are supposed to do) to sing all 3 verses of The Star Spangled Banner, including the verses that nobody knows. I wanted to shout "Play Ball" at the end of all the verses. What a crazy 90 minute meeting that should have been way shorter than that. But after church we went home, opened presents, then went driving aroung looking at Christmas lights. Oh, and ate candy canes too.

That is all.

Matt